No sooner has the animal of night mated with the planet,
than I imagine all that might have been.
A nation of birds will be on the other side
if at last you decide to emigrate.
Yes—I say—and I will never, ever return
to the golden shores of my hapless homeland.
Look now at this breast that will not reproduce.
Somewhere, someplace,
perhaps you are walking, daughter, with the girl I once was, who died.
Perhaps Jizo and his children of mist
walk with you, hand in hand.
But you wander, falling behind time, and cannot find me.
Ethereal and eternal, silent sphere;
thousands of unborn beings seeking
the breasts of their mothers in the dark.
Moving through fog with shining eyes,
swimming in the shadows, wondering aloud.
Yet you don’t find me, my daughter.
I can’t make my l’s give you eyelashes,
or my periods give you freckles.
My poems don’t pull at my sweater,
they won’t awaken me, frightened, in the middle of the night.
And my humble homeland and its golden shores.
Your face falls apart as if in slow motion,
you’ve been falling apart since I turned seventeen.
I’ve been unbuttoning your muscles,
unpicking your stitches.
Daughter, o daughter of mine: I cannot clasp you to my breast.
Remain where you are, stay calm.
Descending the stairway of lines in this poem,
in the faint voice threaded through these verses,
I’ll speak to your unborn self even when I’m dead.
I’m taking apart your features,
untying them thread by thread,
to make you a world where nothing can harm us.
Stop wandering and sleep, we’ll find each other there.
I have nothing, I ask for nothing.
A fleeting glimmer and then nothing.